I was always taught to earn things by myself through hard work, but I just cannot seem to catch a break. Everything just keeps getting worse. I cannot seem to stop the slide. The job I have taken that was to rescue me actually made things worse by not covering moving costs. I am literally working myself back onto the streets.
The last two years have been a nightmare I just cannot seem to wake up from.
To be honest I have tried to end my life several times under this pressure, out of shame, out of hopelessness. The situation looks impossible. My industry has shut down here, and being transgender makes getting work difficult overseas, plus I am loathe to leave my son behind- he lives in Canberra with my family. I had to move a nine hour drive away for work.
Last week, I gave up. It was too hard. I rang emergency services because I was suicidal, the police that came where, unfortunately, transphobic. Rather than helping me and getting me the attention I needed to save my life, they taunted me, inflamed the situation, and when I tried to end my life on the spot they drove me to the ground, hand cuffed me and, unbelievably, peppersprayed me: an unarmed woman begging for help. It isn't like in the films... pepperspray is an agonizing ordeal that lasts hours. After processing (for, get this, assaulting a police officer) I was finally dumped, blinded (no contact lenses left) outside the police station- still with no help. Having called for help to save my life, they made it immeasurably worse. This is the transphobia I had heard about, but only have just now encountered first hand. I don't have words to describe how horrible things have been.
So, with great shame I have come to a point where I have to admit that cannot survive without charity. I have the means and skills to get myself out of the hole but large ticket items are standing in my way and I just cannot get to a point where I can cover those costs. My PC's are dead and so I cannot freelance or get to my showreel to get a VFX job... however someone kindly donated a PC, so if I can ship them here to Melbourne from Sydney, I can switch the drives over and get back to business.
I need desperately to:
* Replace the contact lenses the police destroyed with the pepperspray. - I cannot afford to lose another contact lens. I need to see to work.
* Get my hormone levels checked and my estrogen implant replaced. It should have been removed months ago.
* Ship up my belongings to Melbourne, allowing me to transplant my HDDs to the old PC friends donated to me (♥), and get my ability to freelance and my showreel back online. This will also gives me kitchen utensils, bedding, art materials and restore me to a functioning household. Currently I have to eat out for every meal- it is killing me both financially and having to eat junk to keep costs down. Once I have my stuff and a pc I can ebay a lot of my collection off to raise funds.
* Cover my rent over the Xmas period when the industry shuts down and there are zero jobs (I am looking at retail jobs to cover myself but a 40 year old transgender woman is pretty unlikely to find one... still, fingers crossed).
And hopefully if I can raise enough...
* Travel to Canberra to see my son for X-Mas. I want to be there for his first Christmas.
* Fix a damaged tooth before it becomes a serious problem.
*Pay for proper therapy to manage the stress of my situation.
* Bring my credit card debt I ran up whilst I was sick and unemployed down as much as possible to stop the cycle of fees and interest charges eating my income. My moratorium ends in December.
* Pay upkeep on my business websites to keep my folio online. Get Darkling back up to where I can make sales again.
If you can donate, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
PAYPAL: delaneykingrox@gmail.com
GO FUND ME: https://www.gofundme.com/e2aakrjv
 |
| Happier Times: Me and one of my babies, The Skaarj from UT2004. |
You helped me get back into painting, least I can do is return the favour!
ReplyDeleteDelaney is there another way I can get a small contribution to you other than paypal? If so drop a line to christian.dothalversonatdetdotnswdotedudotau
ReplyDeleteWould a gofundme account work? My friends are telling me to set one up for this and I am unsure if it will help.
DeleteHave no Idea what a gofundme is but willing to look into it for you. I could also direct deposit and or even do a money order from the post office. Obviously would need your details either way your call. But I will look up what gofundme is tonight Thursday regards Chris
DeleteHi. Just a quick note of support from a 40-something UK-based transwoman recently getting back into mini-painting. I hope things improve, and will try and send you a little something when I get paid on Friday.
ReplyDeleteHi Delaney, your work has always been an inspiration to me, I just got it cleared by the missus I'll be sending you something small and hopefully it all adds up.
ReplyDeleteJason (Robin Hood Dwarf man) :)
Evening/Morning Delaney. Jason has been spreading word of your situation, not able to send much but sent what I could.
ReplyDeleteI dunno if it will help, but I passed your blog post to some Melbourne pals and they will spread the word to some of their trans pals for any help/advice they can get coming your way
ReplyDeleteTake care
Hey there - one of those "Melbourne" types here. I've put the word out on Facebutt and Twitter, where I have many friends who either are trans, or who know things and people. Can you email me: Reynardo at Gmail dot com with what suburb you're in now?
DeleteI just sent you a mail to the mail adres above.
ReplyDeleteThank you all so much. I appreciate everything you are all doing for me.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, thank you everyone! Thank you so much :::)
DeleteHi, you are awesome. Stay strong, really hope you get back up.
ReplyDeleteSending funds and strength your way
I don't have much but I'll send what I can later on tonight. I hope things start getting better for you soon.
ReplyDeleteBe safe & well. Looking forward to seeing you back on your feet.
ReplyDeleteThank you all, X
ReplyDeleteStay Stong! Dont give up the fight! I send you a little something via go fund me! I will be keeping you in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteHey Delaney, hope things pick up for you soon, will help out come Monday.
ReplyDeleteKeep hanging in there. If nothing else, these comments demonstrate that you do have supporters out there.
ReplyDeleteI'll be sending you something shortly.
Jeff
Keep your head up Delaney, there's loads of people behind you!
ReplyDeleteI have posted this out on the Reaper Forums here in the US. Stay strong and I know that all lot of Reaper peeps will at least be offering their emotional support to you.
ReplyDeleteGah! I just wanna punch life in the throat for you!
ReplyDeleteI can't really afford much, but I'll try to send you a little when I'm paid.
Stay strong, even though it may not feel like it all the time; there are a lot of people that actually do give a damn about you and would like to try support you.
Take care.
Sent you a little help and added links here on my blog... hang in there...
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone, the response has been amazing. I didn't realize just how much this blog means to people. Thank you all. I cry every day thinking about how good this experience has been.
ReplyDeleteThanks to your generosity, I have paid for my contact lenses, meds, endocrinologist is booked and now have one months bond and rent set aside. I have had a laptop donated (just need internet to get software), two plane tickets so I can see my son at xmas and am on my way to being able to afford shipping up my stuff/storage for when it gets here. I doubt at this stage that I will be able to afford legal defense against the police that peppersprayed and (lets call a spade a spade) essentially tortured me, but feelers are out for an LGBTIQA lawyer who can do pro bono or part payment. At the least, it will give me wiggle room to set up my business in some form again- such as getting a P.O box and replacement software. This has really shown me the power of crowd sourcing (and restored my faith in human kindness)- so I am inclined towards kicking off Darkling /Skulldred properly via a kickstarter. X
Big love to everyone <3.
Hi Delaney
DeleteI'm pleased to hear that everything's turning around for you and look forward to more miniature goodness from you. Your blog was one of the things that helped convince me to get myself back into mini-painting, so I'll certainly be keeping an eye out for future Darkling news and will gladly pledge to a Kickstarter if you did one.
All the best going forward, and have a very happy Christmas.
Naomi
I can´t sadly help you with money as I myself don´t have much but I want to send you some word anyway. And that´s never give up! They are bad people and idiots all over the place but you can also find good honest people that meens well. You are a wonderful person, don´t let anyone say something else and you will make it and come out on the other side much happier then ever before. Keep fightning, but you don´t need to do that alone.
ReplyDeleteI also want to wish you a merry christmas with your family!
Life is good when you have your love ones around you, I am saying this because when i had issues with my lover i never seen life as a good thing but thanks to Dr. AGBAZARA of AGBAZARA TEMPLE, for helping me to cast a spell that brought my lover back to me within the space of 48hours. My husband left me for another woman after 7YEARS of marriage,but Dr.AGBAZARA help me cast a spell that brought him back to me within 48hours. I am not going to tell you more details about myself rather i will only advise those who are having issues in there relationship or marriages to contact Dr.AGBAZARA TEMPLE through these details via; (agbazara@gmail.com) or call him on (+2348104102662).
ReplyDeleteDear friends online, my name is Ariel from Netherlands, I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my Ex wife 2years ago, which lead to our break up. When she broke up with me i was not my self again i felt so empty inside me my love and financial situation became worst until a close friend of mine (Snel) told me about a spell caster who helped him in the same problem too his name is Dr Ogbe. So i emailed him (theangelsofsolution@gmail.com) the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening my wife gave me a call and told me that she was coming back to me in just 2days and i was so happy to have her back to me. We had two kids together and we are happy with ourselves now. Thanks to Dr Ogbe for saving my relationship and for also saving others that i saw on the internet too. Continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me. If you are going through hard life and you need help in problems such as:
ReplyDelete(1) If you want your ex back
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) If you want a child.
(5) Herbal care
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) Let people obey your words and do your wish
(10) Case solve E.T.C
Contact his email again (theangelsofsolution@gmail.com) and be blessed...
I am Tanya and i will would love to use this medium to thank and to let the world know there solution home in tense of relationship problems. At first when i read some comment about Dr.Ekpiku on the internet i never believed that this was real but at the same time i decided to give him a trial. I must say that i was surprise that through the help of Dr.Ekpiku that my lover came back to me begging me to accept him back. With this i was convenience that Dr.Ekpiku powers are genie and helpful to humanity. That is the more reason i am going to drop Dr.Ekpiku contact information which are Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com Once again i am very much grateful to Dr.Ekpiku.
ReplyDelete